Why We Exist

Financial professionals often like to ‘Make it rain’. We at NoisyStocks find their interest in meteorology odd, but we’re happy to fill the demand:

“Which spurious correlations exist between a stock price and rainfall?"

Our Golden Principles

Be Spectacular

Why bother interpreting statistics properly? Just throw together some spicy variables, an eye-watering headline, and a good dash of salt!

Be Historical

Why does the news always have to be… new? We do our best to marinate the data for a minimum of 6 months. This makes the data extra tender & tasteful. To put it simply: Our view is that, one must consider the present circumstances; to perceive that past misguided attempts to predict the future have, in hindsight, not considered several critical factors. Thus it behooves the more sophisticated observer to, at present, set one’s eyes primarily on the hind—where the sight is!

Be Promethean

Why would you follow the crowd? Instead of rushing to make the latest news, we only bring you the greatest news. The best news. News as it should be: Utterly nonsensical, characterful, and entertaining!